Its been a year...

And I can honestly say nothing's the same.

I went through what is possibly the happiest year of my life, be jealous;)

The funny thing is, I spent a lot of it crying.

Crying from laughter and crying because I graduated high school.

I feel like I've grown up a lot.

University of Oklahoma is where its at!

Sometimes I feel like I should have joined a sorority because I need friends!

But then I remind myself that it took me a while to find my niche, but I have real best friends now.

I'm still not a hundred percent confident and trust I'm not always happy.

But I can promise you, I'm getting there.

Today I wanted to start writing 100 things about me. I'll shoot for 25 right now.

1. Hot pink is like THE color I need to live. Real talk.

2. I am average height. I really don't want to grow. I like that some people can see over my head.

3. I am smiling a lot:))

4. I am extra clumsy. I have bumps, bruises and cuts from all kinds of stuff.

5. I refuse to wear heels, mostly because I don't have the grace for them. Being barefoot is where its at!

6. That being said, I have a shoe fetish. they just make outfits!

7. My best friend is Josh. We have an unhealthy attachment to each other.

8. If you see me texting I'm probably having a really stupid conversation with him.

9. Now that I'm in college, I call my mom around ten times a day. That lady's kind of my world:)

10. I really want a boyfriend. Silly, but true.

11. I'm focused on school, but I could focus even more.

12. I'm a perfectionist with my grades.

13. I'm so messy, I wish I could be as clean as my roomie. But then that wouldn't really be me.

14. I've been spending a lot of time alone with my thoughts lately. I'm hoping to be a better me.

15. I wish I was skinnier, but I can't complain because I'm not working out enough.

16. I'm almost a party girl. Almost because partying interferes with sleep time.

17. Sleep is number one in my life.

18. I will listen to any music, lately its been a lot of country.

19. Music is a super obsession. If its silent, I'm really unhappy.

20. I don't trust if I hear that I'm beautiful.

21. I'm constantly wanting to solve other people's problems. I want everyone as happy as I am.

22. My friends are an odd mix of people, but they are who I love.

23. My sisters are Monica, Alisha and Maddie. Not blood, but they should have been.

24. I am oddly insecure about whether or not I'm annoying my friends. While they're high up on my list, I am very sure that I am at the bottom of their's.

25. I dyed my hair red close to a month ago. It looks BA if I say so myself.

26-50 next time!

Allow Me to Reintroduce Myself...

Somehow I'm not the same as I used to be. But there's nothing wrong with that. I'm not as melancholy, more like i'm happy all the time. I'm just tryna get through SEN10R year without pulling all my hair out. But now i'm never in the house. and i'm ready for some more excitement. Stay tuned this could get interesting;)

Your resident loveaholic,

Level:)

Gimme Some Inspiration

Or Something to help me get through these few days before school starts. I fucking hate my job, losing weight is a bitch, and i'm constantly getting sick.
But I have just the thing to help me get over it. We're going to Chicago in five glorious days. That's right, the windy city. I won't have to think about driving, or school, or anything of importance. Just me and my city. The only thing that would make it better is if when we came home my uncle had moved out and left us the house to ourselves. BTW, we don't like visitors. They always in your business,inhaling your exhale. It's too much,enought to make me want to choke a bitch.
And work is no better. I shouldn't even actually call it a job. Five hours a week will barely give me gas money, let alone enough money to support my shoe fetish. So now I have to go back to school wearing the same tired ass flats till i get another job. But i should stop whining, I have a job and while it doesn't give me enough hours,it gives me some sort of money and how can you complain about that.
I'm tired now,maybe i'll finish these thoughts later

Your resident loveaholic,

Level:}

So what have you been up to?

I went on blogging hiatus...yeah yeah yeah so what.
But here's a question... what qualifies a healthy relationship?
Are arguments a good or bad thing?
Should you want to choke somebody more than you want to hug them?
Think about it

Level:)

Taylor Swift is my role model.

Now most people would be like wtf is she doing with that white girl as her role model. Plain and simple the bitch is gangster. I wish I could play my guitar and write songs about people with no remorse. Plus the music is just pretty good.I haven't written on here in a million and ten years.Shit is wild and busy and blah,blah.Spring break ended today:(I don't wanna fucking go back to school tomorrow. I don't even pay attention anymore, just talk to niggas and think about clothes.My hair is so fucking damaged its not even cool. I'm just gonna get braids in like two weeks and let the shit grow. BTW, I need a job and to get my permit.and I know i'm almost seventeen what am i doing but whatever. I did get my car though.Its real cute.
But know down to the nitty gritty. People are pissing me off on the fucking daily. Like my so called friend,U, got pissed at my other friend K and my big sis for coming to visit me and my mama at my house and not telling her. She's also mad cause she doesn't have my big sis's number anymore and her feelings is hurt,whatever whatever. she done found some new friends and forgot about her us her supposed sisters. I didn't even care until she called and tried to go off on K while we were at the house. Talking shit about her not being here and always getting left out.I'm just fucking sick of people playing victim when they doing wrong shit too. At least K had balls enough to say she didn't tell her they were coming cause they didn't want to pick her up cause she never gives gas money like everybody else. I would understand if times were hard but she works at a pharmacy and doesn't have any bills. But then she calls me today and bitches to me about my sister, talking bout how my sister hasn't called her and this and that. I wanted to cuss her out but i held my peace. How you gon bitch to me about my flesh and blood. Now my sister is pissed cause obviously i let her know. Tell me if you think I'm wrong for that. I hate drama when I'm in it. Its a waste of fucking time for everybody.
But i'll hop off my soap box and go read some more blogs.

Your resident love-a-holic,

Level:)

Lemme grade you,give a report card.

i'm an asshole.yeah i'll come right out and say it.i'll make fun of you and gossip about you.now this not might be that a bad thing except for the fact that i have absolutely remorse about it.for me its just a fact of life.most of my friends tell me"you know why i love you? cause you're so rude and you just don't care."i wonder when i'll progress out of this constant asshole state. i can't even be nice to my mama. while she isn't the gentlest person on earth she deserves better than my treatment to her.but i guess i'm like that girl in fahrenheit 451,seventeen and insane because apparently those two go together.
along with being an asshole,i'm lonely.my friends go out and conveniently forget to invite me or make plans with me right there but i'm not invited.and i'm not the type to invite myself along.and of course every dude i like is an asshole just like me that i can't stand most of the time.i'm just like my mama with bad taste in men and a poor disposition.but i'm done pitying myself.pity parties aren't all they're cracked up to be.
i've been trying to get my permit, cause my mama just bought me a car.yeah i'm spoiled. its a chrysler 300:) i wonder what i'll name it. and yes i name everything. i even had a pimple named joaquin, he left after two days.
my gossip-ing is catching up with me.i told this secret about this boy and his sexual escapades and he found out.he was "mad" at me for like an hour but i guess i've learned my lesson. i know if i do it again the next person won't be so nice about it. and i'm trying my hardest to make my friendships stronger but i have trust issues like you wouldn't believe. i don't let people take me home from school cause i'm afraid they'll resent driving me or i just don't feel like i'm worth it. maybe my mama raised me to be too independent.i have a to-do list a mile long and that's number one. sometimes i have to remind myself that some things are out of my hands.i stay up at night still worrying about everything in life,even unimportant things.
regardless of what people think,i'm sensitive as hell.i'll cry if i think i hurt your feelings,which doesn't really go along with me being an asshole but whatever.and some people like to see me down. it gives them pleasure to know that little miss perfect is having a breakdown. i don't know why people think i'm so perfect but they're wrong. for my sixteenth birthday, my mom went to pick my sister up from jail.i spent my summer in a courtroom with her constantly. but nobody knows that. all they know is that i put a smile on my face and walk around like everything is just peachy. but i'm just faking it till i make it.
on a lighter note,its almost spring break and i'm going to a wedding. never in my short-legged life have i been to one.i'm so excited about it, plus i get to wear a dress. i'll probably post pictures of the road trip and of my new car.i think that's all for now.



Your resident loveaholic,
Level:)
P.S: Thanks to everybody that has good music on your blog,you make me happy in my heart.

hey kid,plural.

I'm tired and I haven't written on here in twelve days i think. I guess its cause I'm a busy bee. I sang at our school's Valentine's Day assembly and my mama even came. SHOCKER! lol, but seriously people haven't stopped coming up to me randomly and giving me compliments. I don't know how I feel about this. I mean its good cause I'll never front and act like I don't like the attention but I just feel like the singing was normal and what not. i feel like dude in superbad when they're talking about the guy with the amazing voice. And people keep asking me to sing for them. Ha, I don't even sing for my family. which I guess is retarded cause I sang for my whole school but whatever. I'm gonna figure out how to put up the video of me singing from my phone so I can post it on here.
"This is the guy with the beautiful voice!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5zDOjgTY_A
go watch it!

But anyway, I've been thinking about what kind of person I am. You know there's the girly one, tomboy and so on. I'm in the middle. I don't like wearing sneakers that much anymore but never will I wear a dress. You get the point. I can't even categorize my style. You know how you read magazines and they say oh she's punk and she's urban, well how do they come up with those. I'm starting to think somebody just pulled those classifications out of their ass. And I'm starting to wonder how I even got the friends I have. Like some of them are just beautiful and others are tall and thin like models and I'm there short, kinda stumpy with short hair and not half as cute clothes. We sit with all these guys at lunch and sometimes I'm just quiet feeling like I don't belong. I seriously feel like if it we weren't friends, I'd hate them. I can only imagine what our whole group looks like from the outside.
You may have noticed I didn't say anything about v-day. I got a purse from my mom and slept all day,it was wack. And that's about it. But my purse is freaking cute:) Now I'm going to bed or to watch some reality tv, my sad obsession.

Your resident loveaholic,

Level;)